The struggle of not knowing

If like me you’ve gone through life dragging your heels not really knowing where you will end up but trying to make the best of it. I can tell you now, it does not change as you get older. It’s still the same old things day in, day out.

When I was 10 I wanted to be an Olympic Swimmer. When I was 13 I wanted to become an Egyptologist. When I was 16 I wanted to become an Art Teacher. When I was 17 I dropped out of school to work full-time at an Ice Rink/Ski Centre and it was the best decision I have ever made. I discovered that although I love the pursuit of knowledge, I could not cope with school and I was driven more by money and personal development rather than grades.

When I was 19 I became one of the Ice Rink Managers, I began to think that this was it for me. I had finally started the path to my career. I was wrong. So wrong. Although being a manager has made me more intuitive, confident, and has given me more integrity than I could ever have hoped for, I cannot stop the feeling that something is missing. I hadn’t completed anything I had aimed to by the time I reached 18. I hadn’t started travelling or ticking things off of my “bucket list”, I was simply going to work, going home, seeing friends and that was it. Life didn’t really seem worth it.

I decided to take make an active change, go and start experiencing everything. 2016 was the year I went to the London Cat Cafe, Electric Daisy Carnival, Harry Potter World, I drove around the Nurburgring, went to Disneyland Paris and Berlin to see the Christmas Markets.

Having done all those things, it reignited the need to explore and travel. I’ve always wanted to go and leave everything behind to travel the world, and now although I will not drop everything and go away for a year, I am still planning 2017 to be bigger and better than last year.

So please believe me when I say: it does get better. Just keep going.

One thought on “The struggle of not knowing

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  1. I love this! I feel like this is such a common struggle for people our age– constantly wanting to explore and experience but feeling held back by needing to have a “reasonable” career path and education. I totally get where you’re coming from. Sometimes just enjoying the ride and taking experiences as they come is the best way to combat feeling like you don’t know what to expect.

    Liked by 1 person

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